A Few of My Favorite Things

One of my favorite things about the dawn of a new year has to be all the attempts to sum up experiences into a “best-of” post. I’m awful at things like that, mostly because I just forget what my favorite things are and only list what I heard, saw, read or experienced in December.

So instead of a “best-of” post I’ve decided to just tell you some of my favorite things.

How about a little bit of entertainment to kick us off.

“The 400 Blows” is easily one of my all-time favorite films. The way that Truffaut shows the despair and loneliness of a young boy on the streets of Paris is equal parts heartbreaking, hilarious and beautiful. The closing scene on the beach has to go down as one of the most haunting, and anti-climactic, cinematic experiences I’ve ever experienced. If you haven’t seen The 400 Blows, of Godard’s “Breathless” for that matter, do yourself a favor and find it now.

If you haven’t heard Joe Pug and his heart-on-his-sleeve lyrics yet, you should be ashamed of yourself. On first hearing, Pug sounds like a musician who spends most of his days drink whiskey, smoking cigarettes and being brilliant. The simplicity of his sound lends itself to a folk style that is reminiscent of early Dylan mixed with Neil Young and a bottle of Jack Daniels. He says things like “the more I buy, the more I’m bought, and the more I’m bought the less I cost,” with so much ease that you’d think he was a 60-something troubadour that survived Vietnam. It’s just a beautiful, raw intensity that sets Pug apart.

I’ll leave you with the TV show “Happy Endings“. Sure I started to watch because Elisha Cuthbert was in it, but I think it’s Damon Wayans, Jr. and Eliza Coupe’s characters that keep me tuning in. Tune in Wednesday nights on ABC for one of the smartest relationship sitcoms on TV today.

A Bright Sadness

It’s 2012 and I’m continually struck by how fast things change.

For me, 2011 was a year of ups and downs. The first half of the year saw a very precious relationship deteriorate faster than I ever could have imagined, but was followed by a season of growth, music, creativity and soul-searching. There are things that brought happiness and even more that brought about growing pains and heartache.

2011 seems ever-present to me right now. Nothing sums up this fact better than when I found out that the person, with whom my relationship fell apart, is now engaged. Words don’t even come to mind to describe the range of emotions that I experienced upon receipt of this news. Anger, hurt, relief, happiness, sadness, and general melancholia.

The best way I can convey what I feel about the situation now is a new term that I’m learning to love, “bright sadness.”

I first heard the term “bright sadness” at the end of 2011. It comes from the Eastern Orthodox Christian tradition to describe the season of Lent. It is simply a season of grief that ends with a great and happy celebration. The season of lent Lent, the “sadness” portion, is a time of mourning and grief over the impending death of Christ. It’s capped off by “bright” Easter where Christ returned from the dead.

No, I’m not comparing a breakup to the death and resurrection of Christ, but merely taking the term to show my progression throughout the last year. At first I was heartbroken and stunned, then I did whatever I could to move on. This was simply a mask for the grief, or “sadness”, that I didn’t want other people to see. It was a front for piece of me that wasn’t mended yet.

Fast forward to now, the “bright” portion where I’ve realized that things are better off this way. I’ve met truly amazing people on this journey that I wouldn’t have if things would have continued in the relationship. Plus there’s the fact that she’s happier now than I could have hoped to make her.

Sure there are days that I wish it would’ve worked out, but I’m not  the kind to start looking back. It was Oscar Wilde who said, “No man is rich enough to buy back his past,” and I’m pretty sure he’s right. As much as I kicked and screamed through 2011, I know that this year is going to be better because it has to be. No more looking back.

There’s good thing on the horizon and I’m intent on finding more of the “bright sadness” in life. After all, if things were good all the time, we’d never appreciate life. It’s in those moments of heartache and despair that we realize how beautiful life is.

Random Holiday Musings

I feel a little disheveled this holiday season. Work has brought on lots of new responsibilities and I’m still figuring out how to handle it all. So instead of trying to summarize this holiday season I think I’ll just stick to my list making tendencies.

1. Today I walked in the rain. It reminded me of days in Paris and London; cold, gray and drizzly. The feel of the raindrops dripping from my hair and down my nose was nothing short of spiritual for my soul.

2. I really want to see “The Artist“.

3. I had a holiday cookie made for me that looks reminiscent of the Abominable Snowman from the old Christmas clay-mation specials. It was delicious and very appreciated.

4. Smoked my first cigar in a while with my good friends Matt, David and Luke. There’s nothing better than a band Christmas dinner.

5. I’ve come to realize that my friends are some of the most genuine and creative people I could ever meet. Artists, musicians, dreamers, communicators, actors, writers and agitators. If I could be half as creative as any single one of them, I’d be incredibly happy.

6. New beginnings are beautiful and perfect, especially during this hectic time of year.

7. If you haven’t seen Hugo yet, do it. Seriously, like right now.

8. My dog brings me more happiness and laughter than I could have ever imagined. I can’t even fathom the thought of not having her in my life.

9. A good cup of coffee can cure just about anything.

10. I’ve come to the conclusion that I still want to be a journalist.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all my friends, no matter what religion you are. I hope everyone gets to take some time off and focus on the important things in life; family, friends, freedom and forgiveness.

On Inspiration

It’s dreary today in the Seattle area. The clouds feel like they’re pressing on your soul. It’s also very cold, something I haven’t felt in a while, yet I love it.

I’m finding out that staying in one place too long zaps the inspiration from my body. The shear act of standing still and falling into routine robs me of all my creative juices and even the will to create. I remember sitting in little cafe’s in Paris and writing for hours as hapless tourists attempted broken French just to get an Americano. Then there was the series of poems I did while sitting along the Thames in London, soaked in fog, mist and the cigarette smoke from the immigrant selling tour guides right next to me. The closest I’ve come to recreating that kind of inspiration in Houston has been short stints in coffee shops like Antidote and Agora. Other than that, I feel dry and empty. The words just don’t come out anymore. Instead I turn to music and focusing on work. Playing music with Olivette on the weekends has been my only creative outlet for the last 6 months. Every time I sit down to write, nothing comes out.

Then I flew to Seattle.

I’ve come up with more written material in the last few days then I have in the last few months in Houston. It’s as if something clicks. The view of mountains, when you can see them, and the sound of gulls and water has done something to jump start my brain. The trick is going to be maintaining this when I finally head home.

After I came back from my first trip to London, I created more art then I had ever done in a small period of time. The smell of fish & chips stuck in my nostrils as my pen ran across the pages of my Moleskine. I felt connected to the world in a way that I could simply recreate by putting words on paper. For some reason the last few years have sucked that connection from me.

But I can feel it inside of me again, yearning to do something meaningful.

I don’t believe that inspiration ever leaves someone, but it can hide itself under layers of work, routine, complacency and neglect. Sometimes you just need to get out of the simple world that you’ve created for yourself and experience something that can help peel back emotions and hardness that have built up. I’ve always believed that creating was a choice. Everyone has something inside of them that can be shared with the world, it’s their choice whether they let it out.

Seattle is pulling the creation out of me, in beautiful ways that I never could have imagined.

 

The Great Northwest

Right now I’m sitting in a coffee shop about one block away from Puget Sound in Tacoma, Washington. I can see the water calmly lap against the shore as the boats and industrial tankers move slowly to their destinations.

It’s cold. Very cold.

Being from Texas, I haven’t been this cold in a really long time and I absolutely love it. I’ve been working a lot lately and my soul needed something to help refresh it. I think this trip is doing just that. From sitting and sipping drinks and eating Argentinian food in downtown Seattle to looking at the school that was used in “10 Things I Hate About You”, this it what I needed.

This is my first time in the Northwest and it’s everything that I thought it would be. I even love the dreary cloud filled days that seem to weigh down on you, even though yesterday was clear and beautiful. Seeing Mt. Rainier in the background does something for my psyche. Just the shear size and majesty of it makes me feel like I should be doing more with my life.

It’s been great seeing my friend Nate and his wife Katie. I can’t even begin to tell all the stories of the fun times that Nate and I had in college, and you probably wouldn’t believe most of them anyway. I walked through the Public Market with Katie yesterday, perusing through all the exotic foods and random wares offered. We even enjoyed some fresh macaroons from as exquisite little French bakery.

I left my camera at home on this trip. Sure I can use my iPhone but I’ve even been fighting that a little bit. The more I take pictures the less connected I feel to a place. It’s like committing something to film makes it fictional, a place that can only be visited in photographs. I’ve got countless pictures form Paris and London that don’t really hold any meaning apart from actually being there. I’d much rather be in a picture than to try and interpret the beauty of the scene in 2D.

It’s back to being overcast today which is exactly how I pictured this area. I wouldn’t want it any other way,

A Thanksgiving Playlist

It’s coming to the close of the year. Thanksgiving is a day away and Christmas is right around the corner. As the weather finally starts to turn a little bit chilly in Houston and with my thoughts already bending toward my Seattle adventure, I decided to make a playlist for the coming week.

1. Rootless Tree – Damien Rice
2. Star Mile – Joshua Radin
3. That Time – Regina Spektor
4. What Sarah Said – Death Cab for Cutie
5. Hymn #101 – Joe Pug
6. Dust Bowl Dance – Mumford & Sons
7. Sweet Lorraine – Patty Griffin
8. The Dress Looks Nice On You – Sufjan Stevens
9. Volcano – Damien Rice
10. Winter Birds – Ray LaMontagne
11. The Finish Line – Snow Patrol
12. I Just Don’t Think I’ll Ever Get Over You – Colin Hay
13. Hard Times – Eastmountainsouth
14. Forget About It – Allison Krauss and Union Station
15. The Shadowlands – Ryan Adams
16. Sky Blue Sky – Wilco
17. Wolves – Josh Ritter
18. I Do My Fathers Drugs – Joe Pug
19. Glass – Gavin Degraw
20. Ten Thousand Angels – Caedmon’s Call (feat. Derek Webb)

So everyone have a wonderful Thanksgiving, or just a great Thursday for all my international friends!!!!

To Be Remembered

I’m contemplating way too much these days.
What to do with my life?
Who will I spend my life with?
What kind of person I am?
What do I want to be remembered for?

I think a lot of this started around the time that Steve Jobs died last month. As I read various reports about his genius, creativity, vision, and even things that he probably didn’t want people to know about him, I came across a post on Facebook that basically said ‘I want to be remembered for something more than making cool products.’
In Jobs’ case, I totally agree with that statement because I believe Steve Jobs will be remembered for more than that. He’ll be remembered for changing how we communicate, bringing a technological convenience to chatting with people thousands of miles away, giving us an easy way to listen to music and so on. Steve Jobs wasn’t wrapped up in products, he was wrapped up in changing the way we do life, how we interact and even a bit of how we think.
So why am I thinking so much about my legacy? I am only 27 after all and should have plenty of time left. Well the only answer I can give to that is, why not. People who don’t start thinking about what they’re leaving behind until they’re 50 usually don’t leave much, if anything.
We live in a time and place where we can reach out and touch people all over the world. The only thing left to figure out is what exactly we want our fingerprint to be. As Supergrass put it “We are young, we are free

More Than You Should Ever Know – Music Edition

In honor of my attendance at the My Brightest Diamond and The Rebecca West show tonight, lets take a minute and talk about music. More to the point, me and music.

 

1. I play the harmonica. It’s not really that hard to do, just not many people I know have tried. This point is casually brought up in conversation with women, usually in hope that they find me interesting.

2. The first time I ever heard of ZZ Top was on Back to the Future III. Yes, this fact is sad and I don’t normally bring it up in conversations with women.

3. I once cancelled a gig because my girlfriend broke up with me. Technically she was the voice of the duo and I figured people didn’t want to hear sad renditions of already sad Damien Rice and David Gray songs for three straight hours.

4. Remember that one time that I drug all my friends to see Anna Nalick on the night of the opening game of the Astros only World Series appearance? Oh you don’t? Well my friends do, and as hot as Anna Nalick was I’m never gonna live it down or get my man card back.

5. One of my favorite memories as a child was singing Jim Croce songs on road trips with my dad.

6. I once did a phone interview with the guitarist of the band Copeland. I know refer to this as the time that I partied like crazy with the band Copeland. I at least got press passes to the show and said hello and thank you.

7. I still play the first guitar that I ever owned, a standard black Stratocaster. Thankfully it survived my idiotic attempt to tattoo it (think a cool form of bedazzling.) Scratch that, it wasn’t cool at all. All pictures have been burned.

8. I’ve been given tickets to John Mayer concerts for my birthday by no less than two different girlfriends. We then broke up shortly after each concert. The lesson here is if you actually like your significant other, do not listen to John Mayer’s music at all. Jessica Simpson and I learned this the hard way.

9. The first solo concert I ever performed ended up having a lot more people than anyone would have ever expected. This had nothing to do with me and lots to do with my friends band. I got nervous and ended up ad-libing the entire second verse of my opening song. People clapped since no one actually knew the words to begin with. Or maybe it was pity, I try not to think about it too much.

10. If I could have written a song like The Rebecca West’s “Lost and Found” I might have actually tried for a career in music.

 

More Than You Should Ever Know – Sports Edition

As I sit and watch the Oklahoma Sooners play the Texas Longhorns in the Red River Shootout, I figured I would let y’all in on more random knowledge about my life according to sports. I played a lot of sports in my life, starting with many years of baseball as a kid. After that I diversified a little until I went to college and basically ended up either playing guitar or writing all the time.

Here we go.

1. My first foul committed in an organized basketball game was in 6th grade and it was flagrant. The kid I fouled didn’t play for the rest of the game. Due to the fact that I was barely 5′ tall and freakishly skinny, the coach wouldn’t label me an “enforcer.”

2. As a freshman I was the starting 2nd baseman on the Varsity baseball team. I had a great season and even batted lead-off. Sophomore year I still started at 2nd base but got demoted to 8th in the lineup. I blame this all on a girl and the fact that she didn’t want to date me.

3. The first NBA game that I ever went to was in Dallas. We drove over from Oklahoma just to see Charles Barkley play. Later in life when I ran into Charles at the mall, he didn’t recall the game at all. Kenny Smith, however, gave me a free hat and was very talkative.

4. I only went to one of my alma mater’s football games during my 3 years there. It was a homecoming game and I still have the commemorative patch to prove it. The only reason I went was because my friend Danielle asked me to and the only thing I remember about the day is that I got a parking ticket. College, fail.

5. I’ve made 4 trips to Stamford Bridge, the home of Chelsea FC, in London. Each time I bought a jersey and had my name and age put on the back. When I tell this to girls they aren’t impressed. When guys hear about it they normally ask, “Chelsea who?”

6. In high school I played in a National Championship football game in Tennessee. I was involved in 2 drives for a touchdown and drew a penalty that setup another. It all sounds super exciting. The problem is that it was a flag-football game, so pretty much ignore this entire point.

7. I took a trip to Chicago with my family as a kid and we made a stop at Wrigley Field to see a Cubs game. All I remember from this is that I got beer spilled on me and that my mom got mad at me for laughing at a really drunk college girl that had to be carried out. Cubs win!!

8. I was once refused service in a cafe in London for wearing a Chelsea jersey because the owner/cook was an Arsenal fan.

9. I struck out in the last inning of a district championship game my sophomore year in high school. The only reason I remember this is because as I walked back to the dugout I threw my bat pretty violently against the fence. My dad, the assistant coach, was not amused. I vaguely remember talking myself out of a grounding somehow.

10. In high school I met former Steelers All-Pro Lineman Alan Faneca. He was in college at LSU at the time and his mother happened to be the principal of my school. His forearms were bigger than my thighs. This is probably still true, even though he’s retired and has lost a lot of weight.

What I’ve Been Up To

Well there’s way too much that can be said about my weekend, instead I think I’ll just throw a picture up.

Yep, I was in Las Vegas staying at the Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino.

To say this was the most random weekend I’ve ever had would be a complete understatement. Friday afternoon I was planning out a normal weekend with my friends here in Houston and then 4 hours later I was boarding a plane. I’m not usually an impulsive guy. Planning is not my thing but I like to have at least a framework to work with. So when I got the chance to meet up with a friend in Vegas for a couple of days I just couldn’t pass it up.

Honestly, I’ve never had a desire to go to Vegas. It always seemed like a place where people went to be someone else for a while but the more I walked along the streets I realized something very different. The people who come to Vegas don’t want to be someone else, they just want to be themselves. Thankfully, Sin City doesn’t care who you are as long as you’re having a good time.

So after a really bumpy flight, running into Ru Paul on the strip, a cold dip in the pool and a random meeting at Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville, I’m back in Texas and working like normal.

It may have been short but it was very much-needed. We’ll meet again Vegas, you can count on that.